MnMSpecial - Becoming a Healthy, Domestic-Skilled, Mid-West Mommy of 4 kids One Recipe, Story, Review & Giveaway at a Time!

I have spent the last seven weeks in a fitness bootcamp held in social media platform. I’ve had the opportunity to share my most intimate details about my weight with my friends from high school that knew me as a size 5 and my new friends from Fitcation that saw me as a pregnant swollen wreck (yes, I have seen the pictures).

I’ve always been the girl that wasn’t afraid to go out and do things. I pierced my nose when I was 14 years old and got a tattoo at 18. I’ve dyed my hair pink since I was 13 and have plans to add a pop of color again. But, I’ve noticed that I haven’t had it in my heart to be wild and carefree anymore. Not because I have four kids, but because I don’t like the way I have let myself go.

I could blame the fact that I couldn’t walk after my first son was born or even before the last one was, but truth is I just didn’t have a real drive to push past the pain. I found myself retreating to the bedroom and cutting off my ties to everyone because it was easier to rest than hurt. It felt like the more I tried to lose the weigh the worse I felt, until one day I just couldn’t take it anymore.

At 36 weeks pregnant I drug myself into my OB’s office and asked her to shoot me out back as I was laying on the exam room floor. She wasn’t sure how to take that, but finally gave me pain medication and admitted me overnight so they could do an MRI and I could meet a Neurosurgeon.

My pain was so out of control that I had developed signs of gestational diabetes. I received a meal plan from a registered dietician and began to eat differently. The weight began to drip off of me and the doctor became concerned. It’s amazing how a nutritious, well balanced diet can shock the body into being healthy. I changed just because I was thrown into a “do or die” moment. My baby was depending on me to help him. I was living a nightmare in the fact that things were so bad that I HAD to change not out of want but force. The way I always seem to do things that are required of me.

After the baby came I was again forced to make more changes. I had my back fused. I had to learn how to live with this new challenge. This new challenged has made me work hard. More amazing to me is that I can work hard and I will work hard. I have learned how to work hard after having a life altering surgery not because I wanted to, but because I had to. There was just no other way around that.

I have the feeling that I just survived the widow(er) maker in a sense. I didn’t make lifestyle changes because I felt I wanted to, but because I had to. It helped me to be forced into it because it MADE me see the importance closer to home rather than from the outside looking in.

I have one more hurdle in the marathon of healthy living and it involves the mental changes. I have pretended for so long that I feel good, that I can do it, that I am happy that I became complacent with my attitude towards myself. Now that I have been thrust into this adventure I see things changing. I am not miserably in pain anymore. I can take care of my kids again. I can workout and I haven’t been able to do that since high school. It is a lot and it is over whelming. I’ve found myself crying because I have let everyone in and you all know that I am over weight (like you couldn’t tell before, haha) and I have had a hard time seeing myself that way. I’ve had a hard time adjusting to living again. I notice myself uncomfortable in clothing because things actually fit nicely now.

A wise woman told me, ” I can’t make people change if they don’t want it.” We were chatting about being mentally stable. As women we can be our worst enemies, but I am determined to not beat myself up.

I became a Mamavation Mom. My friends chose me to receive the gift of working hard on myself and I will be forever grateful. I’ve got a plan in hand and music in my soul.

Tags: fitness, health, lifestyle, mamavation, mom, support, women